A Career Can Doom Your Life
I never forget this moment. A call everyone dreams of: "Hi Brani, we are building a new excellence Team working directly for the CEO. We want you to be part of it.”
Heck wow, after so many years of failures, rejections, and frustrations I get this big opportunity. What to say and how to decide? I took my time and talked to my 'advisory board' - managers, friends, family. Then I decided:
Yes, I rejected this offer because everything in life comes at a price. I did not want to pay the price.
Read why I rejected it and what the parameters are. Interpreting these situations will help you to make better decisions.
Personal traits - Remove Yourself or Full Self-Control
Climbing the corporate ladder is always accompanied by personal development. Mastering of communication, empathy, working habits, time management, etc. is the cornerstone. You need to know yourself inside out because then you can perform on the highest level. You know your limits and it helps you to read or serve others. That is what they are looking for - a high performer. They don't create them, they want them.
The higher you get in a company the more self-controlled people are. Don't get me wrong - ego is still a big thing. But Top Managers can say that you are an a**hole without mentioning the word. And the other side recognizes this but without getting emotional. They reply politically and they manage to get the stuff done.
That said the higher you want to go or when you want to work for the higher levels of management you need to take yourself out of the equation. Nobody cares that you want to speak up, that you want a work-life balance, that you are saving the planet. It's not about you, it's about them/it. "Them" means either the level of management above you (VP, SVP, CEO) or the direct manager you work for.
For example, you can/will have private chats with them. But priority No. 1 is that you function.
So when thinking about opportunities like mine then ask yourself the following questions:
- Do your personal traits fit into the team?
- Are you able to control yourself?
- Do you operate on a high level?
The answers are not: "I will learn it or fake it till you make it." Especially questions No. 2 and 3 will reveal fake and then the low performer is spotted. And nobody loves the loser in the team. It's a club of high-performers. No time for losers. This can doom your life - First Act.
Does your situation in life allow a career?
A career is always a question of your situation in life. The younger you are, the less you think about it. Why? Because you have plenty of time and no obligations. Obligations are the things which drives us crazy - things you must do.
When I started my first job, just my wife and me. I worked from 9-5. Then you do some sports, meet friends, go out with my wife, watch a TV series or you do nothing at all - easy going. Plenty of time.
Now, I have kids. Raise early to prepare the kids for school, one is going to the kindergarten. Then you work from 9-4 (yes minus 1 hour and you have catch up this hour) because you need to drive your kid to the football training. The other kid wants to play with a classmate. Your wife asked you to fix the jumping washing machine....This list never ends. Obligations!
So and I want to work for the CEO? When? How? In which life?
Don't get me wrong: You can have a career and a family. Plan to have a family. This is the most important thing in life.
Once I met a 28-year-old Banking Vice President at a party. It was 21 o'clock and he was answering some emails on his phone. I asked why. He said because we are in Europe the US guys need some input - time shift. We start chatting about life and plans. He enjoyed to be important - VP stuff etc. Current situation: Single, working from 7-21 o'clock. He stated that wanted to be married by 30 and wants to have 4 kids.
My wife was stunned and pointed to a few things:
"Look, to be married you need to get to know a person. Most often 2-3 years. Hence, you need to know the person already now. But you're single and when to get to know one? You are working all day?! Any candidates at the office?! No! Then four kids - You have to find a woman which shares these plans. Four kids is a heck of a plan."
He was shocked. He was so focused on his career that he did not see his hamster wheel. Real life hit him into the face. He went silent the whole evening. It made him think.
Nobody on his deathbed ever said, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." — Paul Tsongas.
Choose your time wisely. Time once gone, is gone forever. Let me provide a possible outline/guideline about career/life planning:
- In your twenties work hard on your career.
- In your thirties build a family - career slows down but experience is growing!
- In your forties slowly continue the career as kids are growing up.
- In your fifties enjoy what you have built.
Realizing too late that you sacrificed family planning for a career can doom your life - Second Act.
Time - You serve others anytime on a day
I just talked about time on a large scale - life planning. Then there is the daily schedule when you work for or as a top manager. Let me put it short and direct: You are always on! I have worked with and for VP, SVP, etc. It is expected that you are available - it is a bit like in the movie "The Devil Wears Prada".
I have been there so often: Thursday, 17 o'clock. A director writes a mail:
"Hi Team,
I need a project update by the latest tomorrow 12 o'clock.
The CEO invited me to a lunch.
Best,
..."
Yes, these crisp mails. Then the calls in the team start. What do they expect? Can we use the existing slides? Are slides ok or should we go with a mail etc.?
- First alignment in the team at 18 o'clock.
- First draft by 20 o'clock + review call.
- Second Review call at 22 o'clock.
- Sending out the draft at 23 o'clock.
You don't know how long the director is working neither when they wake up. So send it the same day, hoping to get a reply with OK. But most often you get a list of additional things needed. Then you want to have time to make changes.
- 6:30 you get a reply with a list of questions - good ones!
- 7:30 your boss is nice and tries to reach you, hoping that you're awake.
- 8-8:30 next alignment.
- 9:30 next draft and review
- 10:30 - 11 finalization
- 11 you send out the version; showing that you didn't need all the time.
And this happens once a week for sure - even on weekends! Calls on Saturday or Sunday are normal!
The question is: Do you want all this working late and on weekends?
You serve others. This can doom your life - The Third and last Act.
Let me close with a powerful quote which summarises all said:
I know . . . I, too, went after some things in my life, only to find out later that I paid too much. Had I known how much they were going to cost before I began, I never would have paid the high price. - Jim Rohn [1]
PS: Yes, I haven't talked about the money because you just get it on these levels.
“Income rarely exceeds personal development” - Jim Rohn.
PPS: This is not a pamphlet against a career or top management. This a pointer about the parameters of decisions in a career. Be OK with your decisions.
Sources:
[1] 7 Strategies for Wealth & Happiness: Power Ideas from America's Foremost Business Philosopher, Jim Rohn